


Pepper Has A Thing For Idiots

by rebelmeg



Series: Rebelmeg's Pepperony Bingo 2020 [9]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, POV Pepper Potts, Pepper loves her idiot, Temporary Amnesia, tony is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25289545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: Pepper has always known she's attracted to idiots, but it wasn't until she met this one in particular that she realized just how moronsexual she is.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Rebelmeg's Pepperony Bingo 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664317
Comments: 35
Kudos: 143
Collections: Pepperony Bingo 2020





	Pepper Has A Thing For Idiots

**Author's Note:**

> For my Pepperony Bingo square B3 - amnesia

Pepper had known it from the moment Tony Stark tripped over his shoelaces, fell out of the elevator, and laid, sleep-deprived and giggling, in a pool of his own spilled coffee.

She was a sucker for idiots, always had been, and on her very first day working the executive floor at SI, her heart had just picked its favorite.

She had been prepared for the charm. She had been ready for the charisma. She had prepared for the money, the genius, the sheer _presence_ that Tony Stark had about him (though all of those still stunned her from time to time).

She had not been ready at all for those moments of _blinding idiocy_ that made her just want to stomp over to him and kiss his stupid face.

It only got worse after that, after Tony picked himself up off the floor, dripping with cold coffee and still giggling.

* * *

Rhodey came out for a weekend stay, and it wasn’t even noon on Saturday before Pepper got a phone call from the hospital.

“He’s in no danger, we’ve set him up in a private room while we wait for our ENT specialist.”

Pepper had thanked the nurse (who had obviously been trying very, very hard to be professional and not laugh), and immediately called Tony.

“Hello there, Pepper Potts!” He chirped cheerfully, sounding just slightly congested.

“HOW DID YOU GET A JELLYBEAN LODGED UP YOUR NOSTRIL, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON.” So what if he was her boss? She could yell at him for this if she wanted to.

“I can’t tell, was that a question or a statement?”

“TONY STARK!”

“Clearly not a joking matter, I understand.”

Once the jellybean had been removed (Rhodey insisted on keeping it, safely ensconced in a specimen jar so he could always treasure this memory), and Tony was discharged from the hospital, it took every bit of willpower Pepper possessed not to punch him in the shoulder and kiss him right on the mouth.

That certainly wouldn’t look good to the press, Tony Stark’s relatively new PA slamming her lips into his because he’d been stupid enough to get a jellybean so far up his nose that it necessitated medical intervention.

* * *

As if Tony’s “no braincell” moments weren’t enough to remind Pepper on a fairly frequent basis that she was obviously moronsexual with a clear preference for goateed billionaires, sometimes it seemed like he was actively trying to be stupid for her benefit.

Like the texting. Tony could take one look at a machine and be able to break it down in his head to every single component, and if he got his hands on it? Magic happened. Learning textspeak, however… that was just ridiculous.

[](http://imgbox.com/LSeVOjHK)

Pepper had to just… put her head on her desk for a moment. She just couldn’t, sometimes. She could not handle the blatant _dumb_ that seemed to be Tony’s very specific and very unintentional mating call.

“FRIDAY, tell Tony I’m coming home for lunch, and pants are optional.”

A minute later, the AI responded with a definite note of humor in her voice. “He’s confused but he’s naked, so I think the afternoon is going in your favor.”

* * *

It was official. A Tony that was so looped out after coming out of general anesthesia post-surgery that he actually had _no idea who he was_ ? One of Pepper’s top five. Maybe top three, actually, depending on how the rest of this conversation went.

“I got surg’ry?!” He slurred at the nurse, who was taking his vitals and calmly explaining to him for the fourth time that he was in post-op in the hospital. “’m I dying?!”

“No, Mr. Stark, you just needed your appendix out. The surgery went very well and you’re just going to rest here for awhile before we move you to your recovery suite.”

Tony gasped, and the hand that had a blood-oxygen monitor on his pointer finger reached up as if he were trying to grab onto the nurse’s sleeve, but he got distracted halfway by the blinking red light on his finger. “I get a suite? Why do…” He stared at his finger. “My finger s’glowing. I’m ET.”

Pepper couldn’t hold it back anymore, a giggle bubbled out of her, and Tony’s head whipped around so fast that he moaned a little and laid his head back down on the pillow. “I’s’really dizzy in here.”

Still giggling and trying to stop, Pepper leaned over and finger-combed a few locks of his hair back, unable to feel anything but outrageously fond. “How you feeling, honey? Other than dizzy and so loopy you might actually start floating here in a minute.”

The nurse winked at her and headed for the door. “I’ll be back to check on him in a few minutes. Make sure he doesn’t take any of the sensors or anything off, he seems out of it enough that he’d try.”

“I will, thanks.” Pepper refocused on Tony, who was starting to poke at the bandage on his side.

“I’ve gotta thing.” He was saying, and Pepper hurriedly tugged his hand away, holding on to it so he didn’t try to poke or prod at anything else, especially considering he was catheterized.

His eyes, still a little bleary as they traveled up her arm, widened when they landed on her face. “Oh wooooooow. I got th’prettiest nurse ‘n the whole hospital.”

Pepper just grinned. “Nope, not a nurse.”

He didn’t even appear to have heard her, he was too busy looking up at her like she was an ethereal being. “Oh, wow, I’m g’nna ask you out on a date wh’n I’m not swimming anymore. I’m g’nna date you so hard.”

“Honey, you already are.” She held up her left hand, the big sparkler on her finger facing him as she laughed. “I’m your fiancée.”

There was a pause, probably his brain catching up with her words, but then his eyes all but bugged out. “Whaaaat?! You’re _my_ fiancée? I’m g’nna marry you?!”

“You sure are.”

“Oh my goooosh, where is my phone, I need to call Rhodey. My fiancée issa fox, he’s gotta know.” Tony patted at his lap and the hospital bed, obviously searching for his phone, but then he gasped a little. “I’m naked under this blanket. Oh my. I did not plan that.”

Pepper absolutely lost it, the half scandalized, half bewildered expression on his face was just too much. She was laughing so hard that Tony started laughing too, with absolutely no idea why, and really it was a miracle that the nurse didn’t kick the both of them out.

Pepper loved her slightly amnesiatic genius idiot _so damn much._


End file.
